


Give Me an Answer

by Glanc3



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Blood, Cannibalism, Chapter 143 Spoilers, M/M, if it does tell me, like i hope this makes you cry, very angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 20:51:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2442752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glanc3/pseuds/Glanc3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki's aftermath from the battle with Arima.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give Me an Answer

 

 

The beating on the heart monitor beeped slowly at a time. The heartbeat was steady and slow. The green lines on the monitor rose and fell with every beat. His chest rose and fell as he breathed ever so softly. The air that came out of his nostrils sounded like a faint whistle.

Kaneki laid for what seemed to be lifeless on the bed; he hasn’t woken up for months, but it seemed like years. His skin was paler than Tsukiyama could remember, it was so pale it seemed to match his long hair; the hair on his scalp grew longer. It now reached Kaneki’s shoulders; it was so long Tsukiyama had to brush Kaneki’s bangs away from his eyes and out of his face. He touched the silky hair, and then his face with a gentle touch.

There was blood on his cheeks that had congealed over time. The red liquid had stained his white skin a pink color. Both of his eyes were closed; one eye was also stained pink. The muscles on his body looked as if they faded away; he was slimmer and not as bulky. He hasn’t eaten in a long time – that’s what he needed in order to survive. All Kaneki had was a plastic sack filled with nutrients that pumped some life into his veins. Kaneki was a ghoul, and human essentials wouldn’t help him survive – it only killed him more slowly.  

Death was coming to claim another life, a life that never deserved this kind of fate.

The room was quiet, an eerie kind of quiet. He stood next to Kaneki, near the bedside, next to the machines and monitors that beeped with life that was still striving on the inside.

Tsukiyama gently lifted his hand up from his side, and found Kaneki’s cold hand. Kaneki’s hand was limp and boney; it felt as if the monitors next to Tsukiyama were lying. They were lying that Kaneki was truly living. His body was like a corpse, and it felt like the monitors were hooked up to another body, one that was actually living and giving off an aura of living.

He gripped Kaneki’s hand; and tightened the grip as if he were to attempt to wake him up.

Tsukiyama looked at the face of the one he loved dearly. He couldn’t help but whimper, he skipped out on eating for awhile and by looking at Kaneki – only made him feel sicker. He fell to his knees and he pressed his forehead to the top of Kaneki’s hand. Tears fell from the corners of his eyes, he cried silently. His mouth hung open and it was like he was silently sobbing. Snot was dripping from his nose and tears ran into his mouth, leaving a salty taste.

“Kaneki…. Kaneki….” Tsukiyama repeated his name over and over, he still held onto Kaneki’s hand. “For dear life Kaneki… would you please not go?” He spoke getting no reply.

The tears were overfilling his eyes, making his vision go blurry. He blinked several times, as if this were the last time he was ever going to see him breathe again, he didn’t want to waste a second not looking at Kaneki. His vision had to be clear; he didn’t want Kaneki to see him like this. He sniffed his nose, not bothering to wipe it with a handkerchief. The remaining tears fell down his cheeks, and one landed on Kaneki’s hand. Tsukiyama watched the teardrop sit on the top of Kaneki’s hand, it never absorbed into the skin. It sat completely still in bead form.

Tsukiyama moved his thumb slowly over the drop, and rubbing it into a circular motion. The skin was now damp and wet from the teardrop. He picked up the hand of the one he loved, and planted his lips onto the wet surface. Tsukiyama licked his lips, and the taste of Kaneki and salt coated his tongue. His stomach growled from inside as if he ate human food, he felt like he was going to throw up but there was nothing to throw up. The inside of him was empty.

He shook his head, and brought himself off of his knees. He found room next on Kaneki on the bed. Tsukiyama tucked Kaneki’s long hair behind his ear, and occasionally pecked soft kisses on the pale skin on Kaneki’s face. Each kiss made the monitor beep faster behind him.  

Tsukiyama found room on the bed to lay himself down next to Kaneki. He slid his arm underneath Kaneki’s head, cuddling with the body. Tsukiyama pulled the blankets that were over Kaneki’s body further up to Kaneki’s neck. His body seemed so cold that Tsukiyama thought it would warm him up if he tucked Kaneki in and if he used some of his body warmth.

Tsukiyama still had hope that he would come back. Kaneki suffered major blood loss from the battle with Arima which sent him into the coma. Tsukiyama still remembers what exactly went down on that day. It felt like a dream, not even a dream more like a nightmare. To this day he struggled with coping with reality. He laid on the cement outside, and laid in denial of what happened to Kaneki.  

Tsukiyama laid next to Kaneki for hours, he kept thinking of what he could’ve done to prevent Kaneki from being hurt. The guilt started to dig deep inside of him, which made him tired. He was tired of thinking about everything that is happening in his world. His world was starting to shatter around him, he was losing everything and now he was finally able to realize. He wanted to sleep away the pain that was aching inside of his heart. His eyes were starting to droop and sleep was eagerly awaiting him.

 

* * *

 

 

He dozed off for what seemed for hours, but was only seconds. The beeping on the monitor slowed down, and that woke him up. He realized there was a difference on the screen and in the sound. Kaneki’s heartbeat was lowering at a drastic rate. Tsukiyama sat up immediately and looked back and forth between the monitor and Kaneki. Kaneki’s body trembled every time he took in a breath into his lungs.

Tsukiyama stared at the man’s chest, sometimes it wouldn’t move for what seemed like minutes. He moved into his knees and kneeled above Kaneki’s body. He put his hands onto Kaneki’s shoulders and clenched them tightly. Tsukiyama knew where this was heading and he didn’t know how to prevent it. His mouth opened and closed as if he were trying to find something to say. Tears formed in his eyes and fell onto Kaneki’s face.

The heart monitor was now at a painfully slow rate. Nobody was going to help Kaneki because the two were in a lab, in Dr. Kanou’s lab. Kanou was waiting for Kaneki’s death, in Kanou’s eyes Kaneki was a mere test subject. Nobody was going to do anything, Tsukiyama wanted to do something but there wasn’t anything he could do to get Kaneki back to normal.

Tsukiyama swallowed the saliva that built up inside his mouth. Tears still fell from his eyes; they felt like they never would’ve stopped. The water kept producing and falling and so forth.

“….Kaneki….” Tsukiyama spoke, “I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything to prevent this,” his voice cracked every time he spoke, “I couldn’t do anything to make you happy – but one thing I do know is that something that would make you happy.”

Tsukiyama lifted his hand and held it to Kaneki’s cheek. His thumb brushed over Kaneki’s cheekbone.

“I need to let you go,” Tsukiyama started to sob between words. “Somewhere inside of you, you’re waiting to get out of this painful life you've been involved in. You've never wanted to be a ghoul. I know your salvation is to sleep and have a happy dream, so I’m going to make a sacrifice for your happiness. I’ll end it for you, and then I will live in your memory - just promise you will be looking over me for the time being and that when it's your time to come back, please look for me. I will be looking for you for eternity.” Tsukiyama’s hand combed through Kaneki’s white hair.

Tsukiyama smiled at Kaneki’s sleeping face; he smiled one of his last smiles before he leaned into Kaneki’s face and planted a soft kiss on his cheek then onto his lips. Once he moved away from Kaneki’s lips, the monitor next to the bedside started to beat faster than it was at before.

Tsukiyama didn’t pay attention to the monitor; he was now fully focused on Kaneki. Tsukiyama rose off of the bed and stood next the bedside, now on the opposite side of the machines and monitors. He wiped away the last of his tears that were on his face and used the same hand that was now wet from the tears to pick up Kaneki’s arm. He leaned down to his hand, and brought the slender flesh near his mouth. He opened his mouth and spoke before taking a bite.

“I love you Kaneki.”

Next his mouth was deep into the flesh, blood filled his mouth and a sweet scent filled his nostrils. Blood dripped out from the corner of his mouth and dripped to the floor. He bit down into the bone, making a crunch when he took a bite. He tugged his mouth in a backward motion, his teeth deep into the skin. He ripped a small chunk of flesh and swallowed it whole.

Tsukiyama felt his eyes change into the red color. Ecstasy fired him up and triggered his kagune to come out. His “sword” wrapped around his arm, and ended with a sharp point. He licked his lips, gathering the leftover blood that stuck to his face.

He walked closer to the bed and closer to Kaneki; he towered over the body of his lover. Tears no longer fell from his eyes. He raised his arm into the air and lifted Kaneki’s body with the other. His arm supported him in a position that made Kaneki look as if he sat up. Tsukiyama cradled his lover for one last time before planting another soft kiss onto his lips. Tsukiyama took a deep breath before shoving the sharp kagune through his insides. Kaneki’s body showed no reaction to the pain. The kagune rested in Kaneki's chest, right in his heart.

Tsukiyama spoke in a shaky voice, “I’m… so s-sorry Kaneki…” His head landed onto Kaneki’s shoulder and he whimpered out “I’m sorry” over and over.

“T-thank you” a raspy voice spoke out.

Tsukiyama raised his head immediately at the voice that spoke. He looked at Kaneki whose eyes were open. Both eyes were inside their sockets. Kaneki picked up his shaky hand and brushed it against Tsukiyama’s cheek.

“See you… in the next life… Tsukiyama” Kaneki said, before his eyes shut and the monitor stopped.

Tsukiyama’s kagune disappeared out of Kaneki’s body, and soon both of his arms were wrapped around Kaneki’s lifeless body. Tsukiyama started to sob; he didn’t know it would’ve ended like this.  

 

 


End file.
